(free choice blog) the grass is greener, buds begin to bloom the water begins to sparkle, and the birds have migrated from a long winter's struggle the sun rises earlier, shining the road to school making the early morning a little more bearable the warm sun shining through the window the bumpy bus ride lulling me to sleep bright and early in the morning, does a hectic day arrive happy to finally see my friends in person the teacher begins to teach gathering the attention of the class a well deserved lunch break, the faces of classmates in the courtyard idly chatting away about grades, relationships, friends some stressed, some carefree laughing away without a care in the world slowly but surely does the school day come to an end adding a brief goodbye before hopping back on the bus a tiring day comes to an end and Deja vu -- I am lulled to sleep again the sun shines through the window again tummy rumbling ready to collapse on the bed though the thought of homework makes me grumble and sigh as I grudgingly complete a day's worth of work dinnertime with family maybe a movie night takeout or homecooked meals maybe even a quick call with friends watching videos or vicariously playing games through streamers as I pack my lunch for the next school day finally unwinding cleaning myself, and wearing fresh clothes listening to music as night rolls around the moon shining singing a silent hum before the new day begins
Dear Debbie,
Your free write was very captivating a emitted a very pronounced sense of serenity. It perfectly depicted a relaxing day of school in the spring, from seeing friends, to arriving back home. Your description of the evening was very calming because dinnertime with family is probably the most peaceful time of day. I loved your use of personification when you say the moon silently sang as well as your perfect representation of the way homework makes people feel. Although your post was very enjoyable and relaxing, I did notice you emitted punctuation; my guess is that this was the style you were going for, but I had a little bit of trouble adjusting. Other than that, you are a very talented writer and I absolutely adored your entire site, it’s so aesthetic and tranquil.
Sincerely,
Katie
Dear Katie,
Thank you for taking the time to read my free write! I’m glad I could capture the essence of true bliss and peace. I do have trouble with having punctuation/formatting issues in poems, so I will be sure to improve on that. I hope you drop by to read more of my work in the future ^^
Debbie
Dear Debbie,
This piece was very enjoyable to read. I really liked how each day seems to go by without committing much to memory, but in this piece, you captured each moment in a detailed and efficient manner. Furthermore, I would love to give you kudos on the amount of imagery used throughout. Even when you graced over moments, it still felt like a clear story was being told through the usage of your descriptive words. I also appreciated the really calm tone which made it very relaxing to read.
As for some glows, really just some formatting issues. I get its a poem and its fun to do the whole
space
the sentences
like this
thing. However, I found at some points it was kinda jarring and didn’t really make sense to place gaps. The content was excellent but was sometimes presented in a slightly jarring way. Luckily I didn’t notice that very frequently, so it’s really just a minor mistake.
Really good job on your blog post Debbie! I’m glad I randomly chose you to comment on, as stated before, this was a really enjoyable experience! Anyway, last time you commented on my thing you asked what my favorite pokemon was (Victini or as I like to call it “hyperactive midget”), so it’s only fair I ask you a question. What’s your favorite dinosaur? Personally, I like the Dimetrodon, the bigass lizard, though I suppose you could give that title to any dinosaurs. If you don’t like dinosaurs, I guess you can tell me your favorite type of music or something I don’t know.
-Jimmy
Dear Jimmy,
Thanks for dropping by to read my piece! I’m glad I could capture an a atmosphere of peace and tranquility. As for formatting, you’re right that the spaces thing is super fun hehe, but I do realize that I need to work on punctuation and formatting–I’ll try to do that for my next free write!
And to answer your question, I do like dinosaurs. My favorite dinosaur is probably Spinosaurus, the big lizard with the spine that can fricken swim?? I’m not sure how or why though, and I’m also pretty sure that was Rudy’s dino in Ice Age (like the movie). The scarier and more dangerous a dino is the cooler imo ^^
What’s your favorite movie of all time?
Debbie